


Into the Abyss

by babyteresa



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Sad Ending, agnst angst angst !!, cophine - Freeform, discussions of death/afterlife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 04:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11684559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyteresa/pseuds/babyteresa
Summary: "And then she realised; she was no longer in pain. She felt like she was floating, like she was so above everything else, like her body was somewhere down below and here she was, lying in the light with the woman she loved whispering sweet things into her ear."Cosima faces the unknown, what she could never understand. She faces the beyond as she lets herself pass on.





	Into the Abyss

**Author's Note:**

> Hey kiddos, this is my first cophine fic, and it's a one-shot and a sad one at that. Cant say I didn't warn you! Comments and kudos are always appreciated, love y'all <3

Cosima had danced that night. She had met her sister, her sestra, quiet and reserved and misunderstood. A wild clone, like Sarah. Finally, she was with her sisters again.

It had been a taste of freedom, to be able to forget everything, to let everything go for a short moment and forget that she was property, that she and her sisters were still not free, that they had just _put a pencil through Rachel’s eye,_ that she was sick, that _she was dying._

She knew that there wouldn’t be enough time, that it would be weeks, maybe months, before they could use Kira’s bone marrow again. And with that being said, Cosima didn’t know if that was what she wanted. She didn’t want her niece to go through any more pain, and she had no idea if the treatments would be enough, and it was definitely not going to be a long-term solution.

The science didn’t lie. Biology didn’t lie. Cosima knew that.

She knew that eventually, she would die.

However, being able to forget that, for just a moment, to take off her cannula and the heavy machinery that kept her alive, yet weighed her down wherever she went, had been freeing.

Later that night, she and Sarah had lay in bed, side by side, Sarah asleep while she was kept awake by her thoughts, lying still and staring at the ceiling. She felt a stirring next to her, interrupting her train of thought.

“Hey,” Sarah murmured, sleepy, having just woken. Cosima rolled onto her side, facing her sister. She wasn’t sure if she would ever become entirely used to having so many sisters who looked exactly like her, the same eyes, same face, yet somehow each one so different from the next.

“Hey,” Cosima replied gently.

“What’re you thinking about?” Sarah mumbled tiredly.

“Honestly, I don’t really know,” She said. “About life, about what comes next, about nature and biology and the universe and everything.”

“Woah,” Sarah whispered.

“Like, you see this?” Cosima said, shifting and pushing up her sleeve to show Sarah the tattoo on her inner arm, her shell, with watercolour-esque lines extending out, extrapolating the pattern beyond the shell itself. “It’s a nautilus shell, it follows the golden ratio. It’s a mathematical pattern, it repeats itself in nature, the universe… everything,” She trailed off

“God, we’re so different, all of us,” Sarah uttered softly.

“Yeah,” Cosima agreed, just as quiet.

They lay there, together, for a moment, not talking. Words just went unsaid between the two of them.

“I can’t do this without you,” Sarah then whispered, and Cosima felt tears begin to well in her eyes. Sarah took Cosima’s hand, their fingers running against each other’s identical palms. Sarah was a fighter, she was the bravest out of them all.

From there, they fell silent again, and she heard Sarah shift again, falling back to sleep. Cosima stayed awake a little longer, but eventually she felt a weight begin to pull at her eyelids. Her breathing slowed as her eyes fell shut and she felt herself slipping into sleep.

There was light flooding in through the window above the bed, but it didn’t feel morning. The light was too clean, illuminating the loft evenly, it almost felt as if the glow was coming from everywhere at once. Cosima woke with a start, although it could have been slowly, gently. Or maybe she was never even asleep at all. She was still lying still, but now she was alone, her hand reaching out for her sister but touching nothing but sheets and blankets, not even the warmth of Sarah was still there.

 _“Ma Cherie,”_ came a voice, from somewhere so very close to her but yet so far away. It was smooth, comforting, loving, like the words and the voice could embrace her and she would never be let go.

Delirious, she turned her head, and next to her, sitting to the side of her bed, was a smile, and a tumble of golden-blonde curls.

 _“Delphine,”_ Cosima choked out, her voice hoarse and no louder than a whisper.

 _“Cosima,”_ she murmured in reply, reaching out and wrapping her hands around Cosima’s, holding her tightly as the two locked eyes.

 _“I love you so much,”_ Cosima whispered to her love, as the other woman leant in, pressing kisses to her temple and her cheek.

 _“I love you more than anything,”_ Delphine told her between kisses, as she kept the other’s hands within her own.

 _“What’s happening?”_ Cosima asked her, vaguely aware that something was off, that something was different.

And then she realised; she was no longer in pain. She felt like she was floating, like she was so above everything else, like her body was somewhere down below and here she was, lying in the light with the woman she loved whispering sweet things into her ear.

 _“You are letting go,”_ Delphine said gently, and Cosima noticed that there were tears in her eyes. _“You have been so brave, Cosima, and now you are letting go.”_

 _“I don’t know if I want to let go,”_ Cosima replied, and she had to fight back the urge to sob. She knew that there were tears in her eyes also, that she too was about to cry. _“Maybe I just want to keep making cray science with you.”_

 _“We certainly followed the crazy science,”_ Delphine laughed, and she couldn’t stop herself from letting out a sob.

Cosima fell silent. She felt that there was no turning back now, she was too far above, the light was too strong and too all-encompassing for her to give up now. She was on the edge, balanced on a very thin line and looking down at the light and at the dark. At the abyss.

 _“I’m going to let go,”_ Cosima whispered, and Delphine smiled at her, although she could see that her puppy-dog eyes which she loved so much looked sad, melancholic.

 _“That is good ma Cherie. I love you,”_ Delphine replied. With that, neither of them were able to hold in their sobs. They both cried, loud and ugly, as they reached in to each other, wrapping their arms around each other as they both tried to be as close to each other as it was possible to be.

Cosima stayed like that as she felt the light begin to grow brighter and brighter, the abyss beyond her darker and darker. Everything became disconnected, Cosima rising higher and higher above everything else. She took one last look at the world around her, one last look at the woman she loved.

Cosima closed her eyes, and let herself slip into the beyond.


End file.
